The pursuit of endless happiness will indeed make you even more miserable. Denial that other emotions and human experiences exist will leave you endlessly unhappy.
Myth # 5: If you are not happy, you choose to be
I really don’t know if I hate a feeling more than “choose happiness” – it sounds so simple, so fluffy and so naive.
I am sure people will disagree with me.
I know there are ways to “manifest” abundance and happiness.
But if for a moment you think that when you are not happy that it is your choice, you forget the fact that the world is happening to you too.
And yes, I push that back. I’ve read endless books about how the universe always happens “for” us. Changing your perspective can make a huge difference and I really believe that I have manifested many things in my life.
However, many people take this to another extreme, where they think it’s their fault if something bad happens. Or that they “put it on”.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is very different from tragedies, psychopaths, and circumstances in full swing. In other words, thinking that you can’t do something and then don’t try is a way of “attracting” an outcome or lack of an outcome while someone is an asshole or when your car is starting is a circumstance and an event .
This could be a completely different blog post. My point is that we cannot choose our emotions. They happen, what we choose is how we react to it. In short, you can’t choose your luck, but you can choose how to respond to emotions that lead to a more fulfilling life.
It’s about prolonging a state of mind when we’re feeling good, and observing, loosing, and letting go of things when they’re not serving us.
Myth # 6: If it doesn’t matter 5 years from now, it shouldn’t matter now
I’ve said this a lot lately and then realized how crappy it can sound on the other end. There are definitely things not to complain about. Little things, things that you CAN let go that don’t involve ignoring signals coming from your psyche. Like an idiot cutting in line in front of you.
But then there are things that really sucks in the present moment and take the time to process, that sometimes mean sharing that experience, and that get a lot harder when others tell us we don’t feel or express them should.
This act, by the way, of people telling others to “be more positive” or “think about how they put on something” or my all-time favorite, “I’m so sorry for your loss, but they’re in a better place now” is called place light washing or whitewashing of negative thoughts. It’s a pretty crappy way of blaming victims, especially when people are going through severe emotions, or tragic events, or need time to process them.
I’m not mentioning this because I think anyone who says these clichéd statements is an A-hole (I said them too), but because we need to raise awareness that there is a collective fear of the negative, when in reality it’s just the human experience and none of that is so bad.
I’ve said things like “fear doesn’t serve us” before when in reality it … DOES. This also applies to guilt, anger, resentment and so on. The key is knowing HOW to watch them, how long to stay with them, and how to navigate them instead of letting them take the wheel.