Not all marriages last forever. For some, divorce is the only way to avoid misery in life. Ironically, however, in many cases divorce is detrimental to the mental health of both or one of the spouses and their family, as well as adding to the misery in life. Here are some ways divorce can affect mental health and some suggestions on how to deal with them. ~ Ed.
Life has its moment of happiness and its share of some pain. Pain can become a challenge as a person can handle it and move gracefully into the next phase or chapter of their life.
Five situations in life have been identified as stressful, such as the following:
- The death of someone we love will surely destroy our emotional state
- Going through a painful divorce process feels the same pain as experiencing the physical loss of death
- There is always a sense of security in a job, and losing it can lead to emotional stress
- If you move somewhere else and leave your comfort zone, your cortisol levels are sure to go up, and what could be worse than a person facing a serious illness
These emotionally stressful situations will not only challenge the strength of our emotions and our physical body, but also a test of how stable our mental health is.
Going through a divorce
Going through the painful divorce process is something that is not easy because it can mean the end of the marriage that we once considered sacred. Whatever the causes or reasons for the divorce, it still boils down to how the painful divorce process would affect the mental health of the spouses.
This is a state in which many mixed emotions such as sadness, depression, hatred or anger, fear and hopelessness can arise. Every spouse faces an emotional dilemma as they face the ultimate act that will put an end to the institution of marriage.
Marriage provides a sense of emotional stability because you know you have a constant partner who will love and cherish you “forever”. However, because “forever” can really be so long, there could be humps that can destroy the marriage.
The idea of being alone leads to emotional insecurity, especially because marriage is linked to the acceptance of family and society. Divorce is an open admission that something has gone wrong with the relationship and that it is already beyond the control of the spouse to fix and fix it.
During the legal divorce process, each spouse can think about the things that started the causes and what could have gone wrong with the love shared by the partners. It’s not an easy path; Divorce will be a roller coaster ride of emotions, especially when kids are involved.
Divorce and Mental Health
Fear and stress are mainly triggered when the well-being of the children is taken care of. Family isn’t just about spouses – they have interrelated relationships such as their children, parents, in-laws, and other family lineages. The emotional stress will cascade once the decision to divorce is announced to family members.
The emotional response varies in accordance with the individual’s personality in terms of their stress management mechanisms. For some, they will fall back into isolation, feeling responsible and bearing all the pain of the divorce. If the divorce was triggered because of an infidelity problem, the injured spouse may experience a sense of physical insecurity and worthlessness. It can even provoke anger and hostility.
When a person’s mental health is not stable, the pain of divorce can lead them to take some actions that can be considered destructive. Signs that a person is showing destructive behavior is that he or she would resort to wine drinking, which can lead to alcohol abuse, and worse if the person uses the prohibited drugs.
Those who have felt the pains of infidelity and have had some physical insecurities may engage in illegal sexual activity, which in fact may not improve mental health, but rather make it worse. Because the person can feel humiliated, harassed, and remorseful. For women, they usually take the stress off by becoming shopaholic, where they thoughtlessly spend their money on things they don’t really need.
Divorce and stress
Despite the fact that women have high levels of cortisol stress hormones, which make them prone to stress, it has been found that men are usually the ones who are more stressed out during the divorce battle. It may be because the emotional state of men is very guarded and they don’t have the emotional outlet to let go of their pain, anger, fear, and the like. Often times, these men are the ones who are prone to destructive behavior.
The common stress management mechanism for men is to drink alcoholic beverages or use prohibited substances that can provide temporary relief from emotional pain. The destructive behavior can put these men at high risk of dying or committing suicide. If you have felt this type of emotion, it is better to consult a doctor.
Showing destructive behaviors not only poses a threat to the person concerned, but also has a major impact and impact on the children. Children who do not have absolute control over their parents ‘divorce decision and their destructive behavior are generally the ones who absorb their parents’ emotional stress.
Since the emotional state of the spouses leaves a mark on their children, it is a must that they face the pain in a healthy and positive mechanism. It won’t hurt if you consult and speak to a psychologist. Psychologists are experts at identifying your emotional needs and can even guide and conduct cognitive behavioral therapy.
Even in spite of emotional struggles, the physical and mental practice of yoga can bring positivity to your life. Yoga will give you the power to ease your burden by realizing some realities of life and one of them is that your soul has the full ability to have full control over your physical body.
Emotional pain is just a process for a person to achieve happiness in life. Life doesn’t end with the sign of being divorced because it has another horizon to traverse and enjoy.
Divorce can be painful, stressful, and emotionally draining. However, you should not allow your mental health to be compromised and your children, if any, to be compromised. It is always helpful to seek professional help so that you can get through this divorce process and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Over to you
Have you or your loved ones been through a divorce? Share some tips on how to manage divorce in the comment section.